Barstow Community College Relationship Advice Discussion and Responses

Discussion –  

Here is the fun part…let’s use the discussion boards this week as sort of a Dear Abby column. Let’s call it “Dear Class”. I want you to request advice from others in the class about ANYTHING concerning your personal relationship with anyone.

Here is the first entry from a student who wants some confidentiality…

…Dear Class, I have been dating the same person for 5 years now and I am totally committed to this individual. He is also committed to me, and we are extremely happy together. However, Mike has been delaying our wedding plans for a few years now, always coming up with an excuse why NOW is not a good time…am I wasting my time? Will it be like this forever? I know I want to be married and settled, legally. I want to spend my life with this man, and he says he wants to spend it with me. How long is too long to wait???? Please help with any advice you could give. Sincerely, waiting in the wings.

I want to remind you, to respond to your other classmates posts this week.  You all may have some insight or personal experience to help them with their posts. Try to respond more than two times if possible.  Remember to use good judgment and common sense in your response and not just trite canned statements. 


Alexandra Zarazua 

Relationship advice can really be given by everyone. I think everyone seems to have their two cents on that. But it’s easier said than done. I am lucky to say that my relationship right now is great. Yes we have arguments but at the end of the day we work them out. We work them out because we are willing to work together and want this relationship to work. I will say that my past relationships have not been like this. My last 2 relationships, if I could go back, I would have gotten out of them sooner. One of them was basically married and I had no idea. People had mentioned it to me but of course he denied it and me being naive, I believed him. I eventually found out because she reached out to me.  Thankfully we were both adults about it and I was mortified. My second relationship was a long distance relationship. He lived 4 hours away and he was really nice in the beginning. Once things started to get more serious I noticed he acted “weird” sometimes. One night I cooked dinner and when we sat at the kitchen table he had a mild seizure. That has been one of the scariest things I have gone through. I was scared and very concerned for his health. I was always on him to get checked, we needed answers. Come to find out he was taking too many muscle relaxers. He lied and continued to take them, he scared me when he was taking them. I left the relationship but it took me a while because I thought I loved him. All these relationships have made me be thankful for the person I am with today. 


Keirsten McPheeters 

Dear Class,

I have been with my husband for almost a year now, people say we moved to fast and got married so quick I guess because he’s in the military, but the saying of love at first sight and if it’s meant to be it will come back is true. Both of our parents get along well, and we get along with both sides too. However, my husband always brings up the past occasionally and I don’t know how to feel about it. My parents weren’t a fan of us getting married so fast and me moving to California, but they said whatever makes me happy they’ll stand beside me. And my husband just thinks that they don’t like him because of that and it’s NOT true. They never once said they didn’t like him, if anything they love him. Whenever we’re all together my parents always try to talk to him, and they get along, but I don’t know why the past must be brought up. Were perfect for each other and have been together for a year and some change and couldn’t be happier. I just never know what to say or do when he does, its not often at all.

Thanks, in advanced.

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